Sunday, 31 May 2015

My Sunday Photo






My life seems so uncertain at times.
 Blogging is trickier, to the point where I felt I needed to stop for good this weekend. I have had lots of cries of "No" my husband Chris the loudest, my friends especially Sarah and Helen and small family all supporting me whichever way I went.

I just could not write the post to say I was closing my blog. It actually made my heart hurt.

It was suggested just do the small things, not fret, break from all else, but caring for Granny which is taking up more time. This advice is what I tried to do on and off, but interminably long hours alone, with Granny obviously, however she needs me and as her age dictates she sleeps and of course cannot hear so its hard to chat.

So my blog, it is staying, my photos as such will be of the garden, a few trips out occasionally and may not be recent, but they will give me a sense of carrying on and hopefully speak to my lovely readers and friends.  

With my caring responsibilities and being in for the last 11 weeks and I mean 'in' for all of that time it is is hard to keep up with my dreams, to blog at the rate I did three years ago, dizzying days of 4 of 5 posts, events, being asked to go to Europe, cooking up a whirl in my lovely kitchen back in my old house.


However my life is only hard in moments of exhaustion, it still is my blessing and delight to be here with my Granny. Would not want her anywhere else, I promised her years ago before dementia came to dwell. I promised my Mum when she announced she had cancer that Granny would not be a worry and despite her fighting it trying hard to stay, she died knowing that was always going to be unchanged. We have lost our home, our times together. But will never regret any of it.

 Though our future after is now very uncertain, not sure where we will be, I want to keep this here my baby blog (five years old next month.)

So here is my Sunday photo.

A small escape for 2 hours  a few months ago made me look at this track in a different way today. The feeling of wanting to get on a track and follow plans I made before is on hold. The need to run away not from caring but from tiredness, not having days out with my children and husband all at the same time.

Thomas the Tank tootles down here in summer, my children have grown up with happy days waving at the train as it goes through our country park, but on a different view it looks as if it goes far far away and yet it is familiar.

I am on a bridge looking down today and in a few years maybe will be 'back on track' with normal family dreams, an hour out together, even a whole day out, a walk an ice cream.

For now, not quite the success express, possibly more a rickety ride,  somehow though I am back on track today!


Oh and happy just in case it sounded sad!!!



OneDad3Girls

16 comments:

  1. I am so pleased you have decided to do some little things, it wouldn't be right without you <3 xxxx

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  2. I hope the caring has times of joy as I know how hard it can be xx

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  3. I can not even imagine what it's been like but you doing great, as you said caring for your granny is a blessing and a pleasure which I am sure you will cherish for years to come. Doing small things here and there is what makes us tick.

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  4. We are in the beginning stages of a 2nd international move, sale of our home in USA, daughter heading to uni in Aug and working full time. I feel your pain, my blog has taken a real back seat. I will take your advice though and just try to get simple things accomplished.

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  5. When you get too bogged down, look at how happy granny is and remember how precious the time is that you have together - hugs xxx

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  6. sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time

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  7. Sorry to hear things are difficult at the moment, life is more important that blogging

    Thank you for linking up

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  8. Such a heartbreaking post, I am so sorry you are going through tough times and glad you are clinging on to something you love, and caring for those you love too x

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  9. So sorry to hear things are not good at the moment! Thinking of you! x

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  10. I'm sorry to read you had doubts about continuing blogging and glad you decided to stay.

    A stunning photo too. If you want a nice simple linky you can join with photos like this, I have one called #CheckOutThatView on my travel blog South West Reviews. It is for photos of scenery and good views, like this one! Obviously you may not want to, but would love to have you if you do. xx

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  11. Sending you big hugs and I hope things improve for you soon....I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job with your gran! Lovely picture xx

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  12. I'm so glad that you've decided to stay! Hang in there :)

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  13. The reason behind this photo is just so meaningful. Blogging is an outlet for when you need to vent or at least for me. Sending you hugs. #mysundayphoto

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  14. Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time right now. I hope you find comfort in the little things and everything is OK with your granny.

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  15. I've said this before but you are an incredible lady and Granny is so lucky to have you Jo. I'm glad you've decided to keep the blog. You know that we will all be here ready to read any posts you do manage to put up and will appreciate them all the more, knowing how much it has taken for you to post. I hope that made sense, it does in my head. ;) Anyway, you're amazing Jo, truly. Rhoda xx

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  16. This made me want to cry. You are obviously having a tough time but are dealing with it in a healthier way than I ever would. x

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