Thursday, 31 October 2013

Suicide is Painful

For Paul 

I light a candle today not for a pumpkin though that is what I love to do, but for Paul my cousin.

Two years today I was stood looking at the autumn leaves fall it was Halloween, we were just slowing the car as we had spied Tintern Abbey, we stopped to take photos when my phone rang, it was my cousin in Ireland ringing to tell me our cousin Paul had died, the awful stop of heart that he had taken his own life. 

My thoughts of Halloween dropped as swiftly as the leaves around me, looking across the river to Tintern. I wiped the pictures off the camera of that beautiful place, I could not bear to look at them.

Paul had been the happy go lucky cousin I remembered. My memories of him giving me a back around a field on a motorbike, his love of horses and his always telling a joke, laughing and a twinkle in his eye. 

The last time I saw him not long before at my Nanny's funeral, it was not any different, he was full of life, laughter and not a clue to the pain he may have been carrying.

But does anybody know this, you cannot see it, I believe  most of us feel, that its considered weak to admit you are depressed. 'Pull yourself together', 'keep your chin up' 
If you are hiding a pain, then you are actually strong especially if you are here reading this, how do I know, because I hid mine too.

I myself suffered terribly in my teens and twenties, I thought about ending my pain often, had a few attempts, the last one a very close run thing. I  had the image of Granny, my faithful dog and a little girl who adored me in my head, how would she feel the woman who was always there for me, the child not understanding, my gorgeous dog, who followed me everywhere, she would pine. 

Now I could not at that time, even pick another family member, best friend of which I had a good few, who would or could not cope and move on.

I really struggled to see a purpose in life, the pain was unbearable, engulfing me, consuming. I was lucky I saw saviours who are to this day unaware. One I now care for so my purpose in life is seen. I married, had my babies,  decided to do a foundation in counselling which actually was self help for me, putting to rest doubts, low self esteem, black moments. I can count my blessings now, but some people cannot find one life blessing right this minute, this second. 

I am hoping this says something to one person, makes a difference, you may have even spoken to somebody and still feel its not helping, on medication that does not take it all away. Please please keep looking, it can be managed.

I know its Halloween and that is fun, spooky and scary, but what is more scary is the depression, loneliness and pain some people are going through. In memory of my cousin Paul who took his life two years ago today, I am sharing today, thanks to Paul's sister who has ran, fought and spoken to help put light and hope into others darkness, who says there has been enough pain and loss. 

Hope this speaks to people who think its all too painful,   to those who have lost loved ones how depression grips and to those who are blessed with never having suffered its curse, a little insight.

 You may be very clear that you want to die, you may be harming yourself by cutting, biting or burning your body, if you are take a read here. 
 Conor Cusack, an Irish sportsperson who talks about his depression, bullying and on his blog 'Depression is a friend, not my enemy' does this much more amazingly than myself. He is very honest and insightful, really knows the pain and what fellow sufferers may be feeling. 

The youtube linky is here too to hear him talk in person about his years of battling.

Further help below including Console who have a great website and huge link list to other help. The below text is taken from their website, thanks to Tim for talking to me. 

Suicidal thinking is usually associated with problems that can be treated

Clinical depression, anxiety disorders, chemical dependency, and other disorders produce profound emotional distress. They also interfere with effective problem-solving. But you need to know that studies show that the vast majority of people who receive appropriate treatment improve or recover completely. Even if you have received treatment before, you should know that different treatments work better for different people in different situations. Several tries are sometimes necessary before the right combination is found.

Taken from Console 

 National Self Harm Network
0800 622 6000 
(7pm-11pm Thursday-Saturday, 6.10pm-10.30pm Sunday) 

National confidential helpline

If you are a young person at risk of suicide or are worried about a young person at risk of suicide:

HOPELineUK 0800 068 41 41

Mon-Fri 10:00 am to 5:00 pm and 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm.
Weekends 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm.

  • 08457 90 90 90 * (UK)
  • 1850 60 90 90 * (ROI)

American Foundation For Suicide Prevention
If you are in crisis, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Persil Small and Mighty Bio and Colour Giveaway

Looking for a great laundry detergent, well I am reviewing  Persil Small and Mighty again, I recently had my stain removal for a white t shirt, with chocolate, ink and pasta sauce,this time I am just using my usual family stain fest!!

I have to say its an easy review. Persil Small and Mighty this time I am trying the Bio and Colour, so my washing that I call pale wash and my dark colours have been put through their paces.

The first thing about the Persil that is unique, is the Stain Eraser Ball which neatly sits in the body of the bottle. You just pop it out and pour the dose, it doubles as a stain pre treatment, you just pour on a stubborn stain before washing in the usual way. Its a bit tricky to see the measurement dose but it is there.

The other nice feature is the easy-to-open flip top lid and spout for mess-free pouring, this saves the dribble of detergent around the lid and the unsightly trickle down the side of a bottle.

But clean is where its at, I want a detergent that cleans and removes stains. 

As always the family help immensely with throwing stains at their clothes, so thoughtful.

Chris gave me a shirt, had to be his best one a Reiss shirt with a lovely gravy stain after a carvery night out, the gravy had a greasy film, so it was what I class as a 'tricky stain'.

From previous use I trusted Persil would tackle it. So no other stain removal was used, but I did use the stain eraser ball before washing on a usual wash.

Result stain gone!!

My washing is clean, smells good and when I have troublesome stains, I can rely on Persil.

So if you like the sound of  Persil and want to win a Persil Bio and Colour 875 ml bottle for yourself, fill in the easy peasy Rafflecopter below.

NEW Persil small and mighty comes in 4 sizes: 15, 25, 40 and 60 wash packs, and is made from packaging that can be recycled (where facilities exist).
Available in major supermarkets and retailers.  All prices quoted are Recommended Retail Prices. Retailers are free at all times to set their own retail prices. Keep a lookout for promotions across all major retailers!

Persil Bio and Colour – 525ml – 15 washes - £4.69
Persil Bio and Colour – 875ml – 25 washes - £6.79
Persil Bio and Colour – 1400ml – 40 washes - £9.99

Persil Bio and Colour – 2100ml – 60 washes - £13

Disclosure: I received Persil Small and Mighty to review, I received no other incentive. My opinions are my own.

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

A night in with the girls. For Cancer Research UK

A night in with the girls. For Cancer Research UK

Forget fighting your way to the dance floor, queuing for the toilet, or standing in the cold waiting for the bus home. This November, thousands of women across the country will be saying ‘I’m In’ as they get together for ‘The IN Thing’, Cancer Research UK’s new fundraising initiative that combines a great night in with the girls with a great cause.
Cancer Research UK has teamed up with some of the UK’s best talent including TV and radio broadcaster Edith Bowman, model and designer Twiggy and actress and dancer Camilla Dallerup to help you organise your ultimate night in, with inspirational ideas, party planning guides, delicious recipes and playlists. So whether you’re catching up on the couch, hosting a dinner party, or dusting off that old karaoke machine, you’ll have all the support you need to create an unforgettable night for all your friends.   
The IN Thing is the perfect excuse to get together while raising money for Cancer Research UK’s life saving work.  Hosts can set a fundraising target for their group and collect donations upfront or on the night. Invite friends, family, neighbours and colleagues and indulge in a fun event at home to help  beat cancer sooner.
Keep an eye on our Facebook and Twitter pages for more information, inspiration, top tips, and exclusive offers.
Three reasons why in is the new out this November:
  • Life is busy, so this is the perfect excuse to make time for you and your besties!
  • It’s pre-Christmas party season so make the most of staying in while you can
  • Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor are both on TV providing the perfect background to any girlie catch up
Cancer Research UK’s The IN Thing runs from 1st – 30th November.  Be part of The IN Thing along with thousands of women across the UK, and help beat cancer sooner.  Find out more at

About The IN Thing

  • The IN Thing: A night in with the girls. For Cancer Research UK
  • The IN Thing is a fundraising campaign which inspires women to make time in their busy lives to have a great night in with their friends – to raise money for a worthwhile cause and spend quality time with their girlfriends
  • We will be asking people to take part and host their nights throughout November 2013, raising donations from their friends beforehand or on the night – or both
  • Sign up at

About Cancer Research UK

  • Cancer Research UK is the world’s leading cancer charity dedicated to saving lives through research
  • The charity’s groundbreaking work into the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of cancer has helped save millions of lives.  This work is funded entirely by the public.
  • Cancer Research UK has been at the heart of the progress that has already seen survival rates in the UK double in the last forty years.
  • Cancer Research UK supports research into all aspects of cancer through the work of over 4,000 scientists, doctors and nurses.
  • Together with its partners and supporters, Cancer Research UK's vision is to beat cancer.

For further information about Cancer Research UK's work or to find out how to support the charity, please call 0300 123 1022 or visit Follow us on Twitter and Facebook

This is a charity post, no incentive given to feature.

So Betty Review

Go Downton
With Along Came Betty,  exclusively at Tesco

I could not imagine looking this flawless, the gorgeous ladies do have great make up artists, clever lighting and direction to look this perfect. However with some great advice from Abby Ireland and Along Came Betty products, I can achieve a great look.

I was sent the Double Whammy Lipstick and gloss, perfect for different lip looks. I like the advice to dab on and then blot the lipstick I find it makes for a less 'in your face' look. The gloss is my fave of the duo, and I have been wearing it alone, it gives a nice burst of colour and sheen, its a lovely ruby colour, for night time its nice to have both.

The Dare to Define Jumbo Eye Liner is an instant hit for me, I wear eyeliner everyday, this one is bold, as it has a carbon pen its easy to apply and lasts really well, my tip is use a good eye cream if you have mature skin, allow it to absorb, then apply.

The Quick Fix Mattifier is the one I wil be buying, I really need that flawless look perfecting.

With rosy cheeks and flawless skin, you can recreate their natural beauty with these top tips from make-up artist Abby Ireland and Along Came Betty, exclusively at Tesco.

For beautiful candlelit opaque skin

For your first step create a fine film of Prime of Your Life (£6.99) over your face. Next apply a smooth layer of Absolutely Flawless Foundation (£8.99) over the primer avoiding the eye area, using your fingertips. Finish with All Concealed Concealer (£5.99) to diminish any dark shadows and blemishes, set the areas with a dusting of finishing powder for a flawless finish.

For stunning smoky eyes

The 1920s turned a corner for glamour and smoky eye make-up and natural tones became the way to be seen. To achieve this look try It’s Eye Time Eye Palette in Glamour Eyes (£6.99), with a hint of aubergine and navy. Finish with Dare to Define Jumbo Eye Liner (£4.99) for added drama.

For luscious red lips
Red lips are a must for this decade and the Double Whammy in So Betty (£4.66) sheer texture lip colour is the one to wear. The truly timeless look is perfect for the Autumn season to bring some colour to grey days. The red lipstick and gloss combo is ideal to pop into handbags or evening clutches, simply dab on and blot! For a matte look, use solely the stick or team with the gloss to be sure to steal the show.

To finish and perfect the look, apply a small amount of Fix Me Quick Mattifier (£6.99) directly to the T-zone and gently blend with the fingertips for a flawless matte look.

The Along Came Betty cosmetics, skincare and bathing ranges are available exclusively at Tesco, both online and in store. To view the full range of fabulous products, visit or head to your local store.

Discovery Club

Tragedy I have run out of my favourite perfume! Double tragedy Calvin Klein have discontinued it. I have searched Ebay and cannot find a single bottle. I am pretty upset. I do like a few different scents but this was my 'special date' perfume. The one I wear if I want to feel really good.

Now the job of finding a new favourite. I can't get out as much as I did, and you can only get a free tester on each hand, plus that does not stay long enough so that I can try over a couple of days, see if it suits me all the time.

The Fragrance shop recently developed a new initiative called Discovery Box, and have just launched their exciting fourth, edition. The Discovery Box allows you to explore the very latest fragrance launches from The Fragrance Shop in one box, delivered straight to your door! 

For just £5 per quarter, each edition comes with fragrance samples for you to try, details on each of the fragrances included.

Now this works well for me as I can try out five scents and there is one for Chris.
Then if I like it I can buy.

I have busily been trying all of them out and so far I love the Hugo Boss Jour pour Femme, it is a lovely light fragrance, with lime, honeysuckle, freesia and white birch notes. Good for a daytime spray.

Aura Loewe is the luxury new fragrance, this is heady, sultry and  one that gets people commenting, I have been asked a few times what I am using. 

I am still trying them out and enjoying the experience, its a great idea.

The great thing is I can get £10 off my chosen fragrance, or indeed all of them,each bottle has £10 off voucher sent with the months choice. For instance I can get the HUGO BOSS BOSS JOUR POUR FEMME Eau De Parfum 30ml Spray for £24.50 and a free sample, some of the fragrances come with free gifts. Its free to pick up in store or a modest £2.95 to deliver.

Its a great way to try new scents and for gifts at Christmas I think its another great idea. A good idea to sign up for a family member who is mad on her perfumes. 

Disclosure I was sent a Discovery Box to try for myself, I received no other incentive. My views are my own.

Tuesday, 29 October 2013


Who wants to win Cadbury chocolate....yep I thought so, carry on reading my review, no jumping down to the giveaway, I know its good but you have to read how good your prize will be!!

Cadbury Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations have another flavour, I am obssessed with the Jelly Popping Candy Shells and have been tucking in since I first reviewed them here. Its nice to try a new flavour and like the first two in the range, its  an intriguing combination of delightfully surprising ingredients  Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate, crunchy pretzelhoneycomb and sweet cola pieces. I must admit, I would not put these together but it so works.

I did laugh ironically at the label, 'Peel me Back and Gather Round....there will be no gathering round here. 'Step away from the chocolate and nobody gets hurt!' would be my slogan!!! 
Its all mine, the easy open and close is a real gem! I hate it when I am so keen to get into the chocolate I rip it all down one side and then have to fight with a roll of cling film! Easy reclose adds to the appeal of investing in a large bar, again saving my cling film nightmares.

The Cadbury Dairy milk encasing the filling, as always gives a good start to a chocolate munching session. 

The curious shape of the pieces, means this is not for the neat nibbler, lovely big chunks can be snapped off. leaving little pieces of chocolate and crunchy crumb.

The pretzel is unusual, a lovely salty complement to the sweet!  It works along with the honeycomb which is  crisp, light with a great crunch, the cola pieces are  chewy almost and give a lovely sweet sharp taste.

I needed to eat  quite a few times to fully review, wink wink. I think I can safely say now after careful chomping...its moreish, fun, an unusually curious combination of salty,sweet, crunchy and smooth. 

A sticky chocolate thumbs up!!

Shaking up your senses, Cadbury Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations now come in three exciting variants – ‘Cola Pretzel Honeycomb’, ‘Jelly Popping Candy Shells’ and ‘Cookie Nut Crunch’. Each wacky bar delivers an incredible mix of three carefully selected ingredients that make these bars fun and surprising, ensuring every bite is ‘out of this world’.

Cadbury Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations also features an intriguing shaped crazy paving-inspired pattern with irregular sized chocolate pieces that deliver different, unexpected taste sensations with each bite.

The mischievously moreish 200g block of Marvellous Creations Cola Pretzel Honeycomb (RRP £2.49) is available in stores now,with promotions in major supermarkets throughout October.

Five winners each win a bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations Cola Pretzel Honeycomb. Which is a mouthful to say but better to win!