Monday, 11 February 2013

Grumpy Sad and Happy!



The title of this post has made me laugh as I feel like its a part cast of Snow White, my height as you can see gives me a lead role for one of her seven friends.

Well Paige had great news, she was accepted for all of her university places. York, Sheffield, Nottingham Loughborough and Derby, the latter being her choice. She started out last year on her sports course to train to be a PE teacher, but her work with Primary school children as part of the course was so rewarding, she has now changed courses to be a teacher for little ones.

I am very proud of the young woman she has become, she has a lot of my qualities and a lot of her Dad's she knows what she wants, is self disciplined, confident mostly, incredibly patient above all a really warm caring heart which will be ideal for teaching children.

I have encouraged and supported her where I can, she has blossomed at college and I have been really happy to see her start her own journey. 


Then towards the end of last week, it dawned on me I was losing her, she went off  flat hunting this week (cheaper than uni digs), I  missed her intensely and this is not even the leaving day!

I have felt very grumpy about this, its been my way of dealing with it and to stem the real feeling of loss. I haven't really voiced it. I have been grumpy with her and then really mad at myself for being snippy and off  I I hate not voicing my real emotions and I find it pretty dishonest. But I felt the real emotion of sadness, loss and losing a best friend was too raw to put into words.

I passed her bedroom door while she was away and felt urges to grab her when she came home and make her stay, selfish urges one and all. Then the grumpiness broke and I decided I had to deal with it and also to talk to Paige

 I decided to voice it, I told her how I felt yesterday,we went on a wander around the city,had cake and tea and put it all right.

I know she will be back lots as she intends to work here at weekends and holidays but it will not be the same. 

 I will wipe my tears for now, talk to her, cry a lot and then smile and be really happy for her, I know its going to be different but I also know for her it will be an amazing life.


5 comments:

  1. Aw Jo, first of all what lovely pics! Secondly your post brought a tear to my eye. I don't think I actually thought about how my parents felt about my leaving home I was too busy being so absorbed in my own wee world. It's lovely that you two have sat down and chatted it all out...and that Paige knows how you feel, as well as you knowing how she feels. I'm sure it'll be really weird to begin with but you'll probably find that your times together and even more special...plus if she is away all week you will have lots of gossip to talk about when you meet up at the weekends. Lots of hugs xxx

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  2. You always cheer me up Rhoda, I don't think Paige stopped to think at first, but she said it hit her it was real,when she went flat hunting last week. It felt good to hear that she said, if she could attend uni here she would have chosen that as she wants to stay a little longer.
    Yes times will be more special and ooh yes gossip!!

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  3. its hard when kids fly the nest for whatever reason i love that i have brought them up to be independent but i still feel like the best job i have even done is lost
    was great to read your blog

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    Replies
    1. Yes I am so proud, tough to teach things that will make you suffer a little.

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  4. Teaching is such a wonderful career. I'm years away from this step (primary stage still) but they do grow up so fast.

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