Monday, 26 March 2012

Montezuma's Monkey Around

I was amazed when a box was delivered by my postie, he looked a bit out of puff. On opening the box, I could understand posties weariness, at first I thought I was seeing two big hard back books. I was more than pleased when on closer inspection, I discovered they were Montezuma's new chocolate bars.

Strange name for chocolate I also thought, remembering my fun in swinging round poles as a child. Do not please confuse this with late night bar poles, I'm far too unfit! 

The word Monkey is Cockney for £500 I did look it up and its believed to have  originated from soldiers returning from India, where the 500 rupee note had a portrait of a monkey on it. The term monkey was used for 500 rupees and on returning to England this word was converted for sterling pound to mean £500

The bars are bigger than an iPad, tastier too! Taste was the first thing on my mind, I recently reviewed  Montezuma's Real Chocolate Club a fantastic ‘chocolate by post’ concept  where a selection of fine chocolates came through the door and were never seen again! The quality and really fine taste meant I knew the Monkey Bars would be great.

I tried the Adam and Eve as in "Would you Adam and Eve (believe) it? You knew I would go for the orange first, my love of citrus fruit was about to be satisfied again.

I did resist the urge a little longer to first admire the packaging, the designs are a salute to this Jubilee year and a celebration of all things British. Decorated with images such as a teapot, bulldog and a proper red telephone box

OK back to the main event wondering where to start, this puzzle did not take too long to solve, I had a little nibble on the end of a square, note to anybody like me, its very easy to break a square off, phew! I hate having to fight with my chocolate bar.

The orange is the first flavour I tasted, its just the right amount and then the sweet chocolate comes through, yay for Montezuma for putting orange and milk chocolate together, so many times its with dark chocolate, lovely but not may favourite. Its creamy and smooth, then interrupted by a crunch of hazelnut. One square is filling and you may have to give in and share, there is plenty to go round too.

Moving along to the second bar, Nanny Goat (Boat) again I was pleased as its milk chocolate, flavoured with butterscotch and salted peanuts, if you have tried salted fudge you know this is going to work and it does. The salty sweet and creamy tastes all blend perfectly. A little like peanut brittle but improved with the chocolate.

I needed to lie down after reviewing these weighty bars, do give them a go if you can, I thoroughly recommend them.

These half-kilo slabs of great British chocolate take their name from Cockney rhyming slang for '500' and measure an impressive 10" by 6" (25.5cm x 15.5cm, if you really want the metric).
Inspired by a very special year for Britain, when we celebrate both the Royal Jubilee and the Olympics, unwrapping a 500g Monkey Bar at a gathering of family or friends will have their 'apple pies' popping out!
While huge, Monkey Bars do break up into handy 33g blocks, so are easily shared - whether it's for Easter, Father's Day, as an after-dinner treat or even while watching a certain East End sitcom!
There are 5 innovative flavours in all - each decorated with a skyline of London and other iconic symbols of Great Britain, including a traditional phone box, bulldog, Welsh dragon and a Scottish lion:
'Airs and Graces' (meaning 'Races' as in Epsom Races - which is Ecuadorian Dark chocolate with Nougat Pieces); 'Nanny Goat' ('Boat' - Venezuelan Milk Chocolate with Salted Peanuts and Butterscotch); 'Daisy Roots' ('Boots' - Ecuadorian Dark chocolate with Cherry and Almond Slices); 'Adam and Eve' ('Believe' - Venezuelan Milk Chocolate with Orange and Hazelnuts) and 'Shake  and Shiver' ('River', as in The Thames - Ecuadorian Dark Chocolate with Peppermint and Cocoa Nibs). RRP is £13.99.
The bars are available from and its 5 shops (Brighton, Chichester, Winchester, Kingston-upon-Thames and Spitalfields in London), as well as John Lewis, Whole Foods Market and all good independent fine food stores nationwide.
Monkey Bars are part of Montezuma's 'Great British' range, which also includes 6 traditional pudding-flavoured bars and truffles - including Spotted Dick, Treacle Tart and Apple Crumble.


  1. ohhh wow, the flavours sound fantastic :) and love the names of the chocolate bars.

  2. WOW they sound amazing and I'm all for chocolate bars that are bigger than Ipads!!

  3. wow these all sound great!